Of dreams and motherhood

What is your dream?

I faced this question today and suddenly unlike most other days, I did not have any quick answers.

When a mind goes blank in answering the question above, it makes one worry especially when for the longest time one had varied dreams. So many different competing dreams that the mind sometimes seem to run amok.

But now, at this instant, it is blank.

I have only dreams for my child as she begins her school life in a few months time, my own dreams seem to have gone. As if it is something forgotten for awhile while I help my child build hers.

Then I caught myself asking, “is it fair?”

How can I help her nurture grand dreams of her own when I know that what is happening to me right now may happen to her in the future too? That sometime in her adult life, she may be rob of the chance to continuously pursue her dreams.

Why do I feel this way? Is it because of motherhood? Do I truly believe that now because I am a mom I suddenly stopped dreaming for me? Or is it because I feel that somehow I failed to achieve my dreams when I had the time – before I had her. Should I just let go and accept the fact that I missed my chance, good luck trying again after the next two or three decades. Or maybe, these are just selfish thoughts and I can actually still dream both for me and for her.

I certainly hope it is the latter.

Maybe it would be doubly hard to achieve dreams now that you juggle more things than before but maybe it is okay. Maybe it is doable.

It should and I should find a way how. Even if it is just to show my daughter how much dreams are important for a person’s happiness. How much dreams should be chased after and how hard work will (eventually) pay off.

More importantly, how our dreams are impressions of God’s desire for us to live meaningful lives.

I think dreams are one of those things that help a person to keep going. Thus, I dream for my daughter to be a dreamer just like her mom.


Image by Bruno Nascirmento from unsplash.com

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