desiring worldly things

I realized I am overly stressed.

Stress leads to a plethora of diseases so I tried to think of the reason for my stress-filled life. I found that I am stressed for two main reasons: desire to earn more and desire to be the best.

I guess now that I have my own family, I see the need to have extra wiggle room financially. Also, because I took a break from work due to child care I sometimes get the feeling that I need to work harder than the rest to catch up with their promotions, salary increases and what not.

There is nothing wrong in wanting stability and security for the family and in having ambition, right?

I guess the answer here depends on the person asking. If it is driving you nuts – causing stress and anxiety resulting to irritability – then, I guess it means its too much greed already.

Just to be clear, my family does not really have much to be called greedy. But I confess, it’s been all that is in my head lately. It is not healthy and it can get ugly.

So, I took a step back and thought of what I was doing wrong. Maybe I am moving too much against the flow that it is not fun or challenging anymore. It’s just stubbornness.

How do you know when it is still time to fight and when to surrender?

For now, I am still not yet giving up. At least not until I find an answer on what to do next.

They say it is vanity to want things of this world and not invest on eternal riches. I am guilty so far of wanting too much material things. I thought it is easy to want them because they are just everywhere. in all forms of media, there is something to want.

What exactly can we “buy” that is eternal? If there is an online store for it, what things can be found? Will it entice me? How much will those cost?

I think, the thing is, there is nothing to “buy” because our whole earthly journey is towards having that eternal life itself. All the things that we do know is like a savings account so we can afford living in that land where they say there is no more sadness and pain. It is certainly enticing and it is free. Free because Jesus already paid for it when He died on the cross.

So why do we have to think about it and work for it if it is free? Well, for one, we try not to make grave sins that may deter us. Second, I guess, is so that our sacrifices may help to bring to heaven others who need it.

Again, I am no theologian, this is just how I understood it so far.

I know I would still be struggling with my vanity. I have to be conscious of it every day at least to avoid being too stressed. Then, hopefully to also be walking towards the right path.


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