Like a tree planted in the middle of nowhere, I hope I can grow stronger and weather all seasons in life with God’s grace and never-ending love.
How do you discern what God wants for you?
I really want to know how I can be certain that I am listening properly and really following Him. Not to question His deeds or anything, but I might be following someone else’s whisper.
Maybe at these times, I do need an expert to give me some advice.
Why am I pondering such questions (again)? Well, I was thinking of those choices that I was talking about yesterday. I have three career options- they are all in teaching but very different institutions and students. One of them happened without so much effort because in a sense everything seem to just fall into pieces but I am not very excited about it.
The other two options came on the same day. The first of the two is something I have been praying for for years and although nothing is final about it, just hearing news from them is already very exciting.
The final option, I just recently liked it but I only heard from them after I got the first option. The problem is, for one to work I have to let go of the other.
They are all really good news it’s just that I liked the second one best and the third one next.
So those thoughts popped into my head again and I silently prayed about it. If heaven has a recorder, I’m sure I sound like one because I keep on saying the same things. Realizing that, I sighed and said “Your will be done.” (This is something I had to keep on practicing).
And then after that, while looking for some inspiration for today, I saw this quote from Mother Teresa:
“Wherever God has put you, that is your vocation. It is not what we do but how much love we put into it.”
That made me smile. Not because I know now what exactly God wants me to do but because I felt He is humouring me. See, four years ago before I resigned from my job, I kept asking God for a sign on what to do next. Then after some time I realized that after asking for a sign, I totally forgot what sign I asked for or if I do see one it seemed vague. So, I prayed one morning for a very concrete sign, one that I can read.
Yep, that morning as soon as I entered the room, I got a quote in our small fish bowl (we have this ritual in our office to start our day with a good thought) and guess what it says. It said simply:
“Just do it”
Which will not mean so much to me if it is just a regular day. I mean, if I happen to feel the need to go to the bathroom and read that quote then that’s it. But it was so powerful because it was on that same day I asked for a concrete answer.
Some laughed when I told them about it, maybe they thought it silly for me to depend my future on a small piece of random quote. Yet, I believed it with all my heart that He answered me.
And now here I am still puzzled at what to do next. Still asking God what He wants from me. I am still struggling in giving my everything to Him. I want to and I pray for that day to come.
Just a few minutes ago I thought, maybe God wanted me to go ahead with the first option because that is His will. It’s already there. But now I think it is not the case. All three options can give me an opportunity to serve others and to follow Him better. It is the same vocation. Whichever way I go, the important thing is “not what we do but how much we love.”
I will pray for this (and ponder more) if this is what it really means. I know God will lead me to the best one and I just have to make myself very willing and less doubtful. I know that wherever He leads me, I will be able to learn and grow more. I know He has a beautiful plan.
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