“Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth would care to know my name, would care to feel my hurt?”
This stopped me in my tracks the first time I heard those lyrics years ago.
I had a chance to live overseas when I was 19, it was an exciting time and everything was new. It was the first time I experienced seasons changing, so every three months I witness something I have not seen before. To me, those seasons were like a miracle, especially each week of spring when everything seem to bloom one by one. I felt like celebrating each time, it is really a beautiful country.
Despite that, I miss home. I miss my family and all the other familiar things especially at night when work is over and I am all by myself.
One of the things I turned to was the Internet. Facebook and Youtube didn’t exist yet at that time, thankfully, I found KLove radio.
I was listening to KLove radio that time when I heard Casting Crowns sing that song “Who Am I” and I got hooked. I just had to listen to it because it felt so true.
At night, when even the Internet fails to entertain homesickness, He is the only one I turn to. Of all the people on earth calling to him, I truly felt that He listens to my prayer too. He knows me – all my fears, all the pain and the littlest thing that can make me smile.
“Who am I that the voice that calms the sea, will call out to the rain and calm the storm in me.”
I have been through alot and He witnessed it all. Yet, the moment I lift all my worries to Him, I feel calm. I feel His embrace. I hear Him tell me, its ok.
The song then goes to remind me that it is not because I was a good girl that God loves me. “not because of who I am but because of what You have done. Not because of what I have done, but because of who You are.”
It is very reassuring to know that He loves me, all of us, because He simply does. Because we are His.
Now years after, this song still makes me feel how much God loves me. After going astray, and realizing that I sinned, I found this song again.
“Who am I that the eyes that see my sin would look at me with love and watch me rise again?”
I am nothing without Him. Our lives are as brief as “a wave tossed in the ocean, a vapor in the wind” still He is always listening to our prayers. He still loves us and reminds us that we are His.
I wonder if I will ever be able to one day completely forget about myself and truly say to Him in reply, “I am Yours.”
You may get the lyrics of the song “Who Am I” from the Casting Crowns website.
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