In His time. This is a lesson I really need to learn and remember in my journey.
I grew up in a time when things are instant – instant coffee, instant noodles, fast food, automatic washing machines, microwaves, emails etc. I did not experience having to wait for a lot of things in my everyday life.
If you are like me, waiting for long hours can probably tick you off.
Now as an adult, I wanted to be “someone” fast. I want to have a name for myself.
Being a mom though, I had to put everything on break. I was ok with it at first but sometimes it can feel frustrating, sometimes it feels too confining. From time to time I feel jelous of others who seem to be able to do both.
I come back and forth on wanting to go back out there and join the workforce while at the same time wanting to be the one to drop my child off to school.
There are days that felt like a drag of routine. But there are those days too when I look at my child and be amazed at how fast time flies.
Looking at how much my child have grown I am very proud of her. I am happy to have time to spend with her. I know some years ago, before I was married I wanted this kind of life – staying at home with my kids. But I seem to have forgotten that little part until now.
Yes, I wanted this life when I had my child. I wanted it even before I laid eyes on her. I should be thankful to have this time.
Reminder to self: be thankful to have this time.
This age will soon pass. My child will not be a child forever, she will grow up and become independent of me. When that time comes she will be busy with other things, other people.
When that time comes, I can somehow continue where I left my career or maybe start a new one. I will be a little older but I still have decades before retirement.
When that time comes I will be able to look back and say I spent my time well. I hope my daughter will think lovingly back on those days too.
Nothing amazing and special in life can happen in an instant. It happens over time, we just have to look for those little moments to remind us what we are here for.
I want to believe that I am already someone. I am a mom. But also, I am me.
I think this is something that every mother-every parent-out there needs to know that they are still allowed to be themselves. Who they were before being a parent did not disappear now that they have a child. Becoming a parent just added dimension to who they are.
As parents, we should enjoy this time in our children’s life, in our life. So, if you are like me, take it easy. God has His own timing. He knows us better than we know ourself. He will answer our prayers, in His own time.
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